how time flies in a blink of an eye. you’ll soon be parted from me, physically and i reckon emotionally too. we’re drifting apart each day and perhaps it’s the best of us. that the pain will not be so raw and hurtful. 

i will soon be a fading memory of what we once shared. but it is all well. i know i promised that i’ll be your friend forever. but in truth, i can’t because the pain is just to much for me to handle. so please my friend do not blame me because i just can’t bring myself to pretend that nothing ever happened. 

we used to share dreams and assuring each other that we’ll always be with other together forever. you used to promise you’ll marry me. but tonight, my heart broke terribly. for whatever i have done for you, i don’t wish for anything back from you. 

just know that i have and will always love you with all my heart. soon, i will be going away.. but keep in mind that i’ll keep you safe and well. but i beg you not to come searching for me.

take care my love.

okay! so we have come to the end of 2008. and certainly, many issues/situations (whatever) had happened during the course of 1 year. and all these highlights came out from absolutely nowhere, other than a usual night chat with my love, melvin. and these highlights are just.. hilarious..

so here goes (not in running order though, and the list is prettay long) :

1. melvin cried and became a baby and went to the hospital.

2. valerie and melvin met valerie’s parents in a very awkward moment. (no, not what you’re thinking)

3. it’s a year where valerie helps melvin to paint her room by NOT BEING PRESENT.

4. to even think a name of seashell is possible.

5. we learnt that perry is an asshole and possibly gay.

6. melvin hugged perry and caressed his chest in PageOne, Vivo.

7. we found out the rajesh is a pussy bitch.

8. aman broke his jaw by a light hit from melvin.

9. valerie dubbed yoda the pantyhose wearer; she even makes a break through in sex toys that a light saber doubling as a vibrator.

10. we learnt that valerie, nessa, william and dorothy (family of Val’s) share similar traits with the bear family.

11. melvin’s mom surprisingly got a nickname “hippo”.

12. valerie learnt that her admirers are not far from her.

13. we learnt that most singaporeans are possibly the rudest and gets the most number of hits being a faux pax.

14. we came to a conclusion that short men shouldn’t even exist because they usually come in short packages.

15. we realised that christians can be quite confused.

16. we realised that lube makes sex better – tall or short, fat or skinny, doggy is possible for all.

17. valerie made an astonishing discovery that melvin IS able to hit ten inches.

18. melvin made a startling discovery that valerie is a chronic farter/burper and snorter.

19. we realised that melvin attracts gays, older women, tai tais and white/black/yellow pussies.

20. it’s a year where a card of taboo drawn (Tigers Woods) is translated to Eurasian Tiger.

21. it’s a year where valerie receives her first 1 carat diamond with white gold ring from a tall dark and handsome man. (so what melvin says)

22. valerie found out that melvin is a shrewd monopoly player. *ouch*

23. valerie burnt her pocket by spending almost S$2grand on christmas gifts for her love ones.

24. it’s a year where valerie has been a good girl – cutting down on alcohol and stop smoking.

25. valerie realised that china whores has spread to orchard road.

26. valerie realised that singaporeans are still racist.

27. we realised that public transport is as good as riding in someone’s pubic hair. (means DISGUSTING)

28. my sister, vanessa coined the term “ah tiong” (hokkien term for china peepz)

29. valerie can’t believe that vanessa said she wanted to be a nanny and wanted to go to nanny school, Norland College.

30. valerie can’t believe that her boss kept his part of his deal in getting her the gucci bag he promised.

31. singapore has just realised that you can now commit suicide by entering a tiger’s den in the singapore zoological garden. how convenient to end your miserable life.

32. valerie felt that she was so fortunate that she was NOT one of the 173 passengers stuck in the biggest wheel – Singapore Flyer for 6 hours.

33. valerie actually told someone off in church that she finds faith in sleeping when asked to be a regular church goer.

34. we learnt that LOSERS will remain as losers because they need to read the book called “the game” to pick up women in the club. how pathetic. p/s: even the love guru dr tien lost to my good buddy with an SIA chick! way to go buddy!

35. valerie realised that she easily spent S$7grand by “opening” (hokkien way of saying my treat) bottles in Attica, China One and Ink.

36. singapore also learnt that robbing a bank is as simple and easy as disguising yourself by wearing a “tudong” (a scarf over a muslim female’s head) and carrying a plastic bag claiming that there’s a bomb inside. NOT!

37. valerie realised that melvin is actually a chinese trapped in an indian body.

38. melvin made a startling statement to valerie saying: “i would go down on my male boss and give him a blowjob for a promotion.” *pukes* val is feeling really hurt and sick right now.. like NOW!!!

39. valerie just made a remarkable statement in 2008 for 2009. she’s gonna do skydiving!! *ya-ka*

40. in 2008, we realised that idiots can be financial gurus and that many would part their millions to them.

41. in 2008, black/brown men are officially made fashionable by Barrack Obama and Lewis Hamilton.

42. 2008 is a year where polymers are the NEW IN for food. NOT!!

43. 2008 made us realise breast milk is probably the best milk available today. (grow tits, stop implants)

44. valerie realised office thieves not only lack creativity today but they are extremely dumb NA, oops we meant NO!

45. quote of the year “we speak no english,NO!”

46 . honestly we would love to describe our most memorable faux pax we encountered this year but there were just too many.

47. singaporeans need to realise that charity organisations do make profits, its just not ethical. People need to be paid assholes!

48. to many perverts’ (we meant males, and maybe females too) disappointment, Britney did not have to go nude to revive her careeer. Now Gimme Gimme more, You wanna piece of me ?

49. melvin discovered why Rudolph’s nose turns red and it has nothing to do with a birth defect. Its gotta do with Santa’s horny streak.

50. valerie needed to buy 4d because her buddy damien said the rarest thing to her. guess what!!!

51. valerie realised that her father is suffering from a “my daughters will always be my babies and will never talk back to me” syndrome. perhaps it’s mid-life crisis.

52. valerie received the christmas present from her sister, vanessa. -fabulosity-

right.. honestly, i can’t think of anymore highlights. i guess in 2008, we have seen the fall of the financial situation, the craziest terrorism of today. it may be just the tip of the ice-berg, or it may not be. whatever it is, 2009 is here to stay for another 364 days and 20 hours.

let’s make the best of 2009, and become better and stronger for our survival. good luck peepz!! peace out!